A Respectful Reminder
I have a lot of memories of growing up in church, especially when my parents would be talking to other families for hours after the service. But there’s one morning at church I remember vividly, where we stayed after talking to some of my Dad’s friends. I don’t know how old I was — maybe 8 or 9 — but I was old enough to hold a conversation and speak to adults. This time, however, I was being shy and holding onto my Dad’s leg, avoiding all questions and eye contact. And while I may have found it to be fun at the moment, I quickly learned otherwise after church ended. I remember my Dad sternly sharing something along the lines of, “If someone is talking to you, you need to look them in the eye, shake their hand, and respond when they ask you a question.” In other words, he told me I was being disrespectful.
At some point in our lives, most of us realize that we learn many of our values and character traits from our childhood. We learn new ways of doing things on our own, but some of the things we learn from our mom or dad stay with us as adults. Perhaps the most important value I learned from my family was respect. Whether we spoke about it or not, it always felt like it was foundational to us — thus the reason for the stern and justified correction from my father.
It would also make sense why I get so frustrated when I watch or experience people being disrespectful. Lately, I’ve felt like respect is a tradition of the past, noticing little things that people don’t do the same way anymore. Things like the way some people speak to elders, how people don’t dress up in fancy restaurants anymore, or even the casual nature in which people avoid the smoking rules of indoor buildings and vape anywhere they go. These might seem like small things, but they point to something more.
If you believe — as I do — that every person deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, you act differently. That worldview informs our actions, because it’s not about following every rule or cultural tradition, it boils down to how you value human beings. When you see value in other people, you respect them. Even more than that, if you believe that every person is made in the image of God, you will respect them as one of his children. Respect isn’t always about saying “sir” and “ma’m,” it’s about seeing the best in everyone. It’s living and speaking in a way that communicates dignity, because we all deserve it.
